Please Don’t Be Evil to Me
Bitchflower
May 2024
8/10
Psych Punk, Metal
Bitchflower is a band relatively new to the community, only a couple of years old, but already they are making an imprint in the Fort Collin’s music scene with their trademark sound of punk rock that leans playfully into metal and psychedelic rock. They might be most well recognized for their live performances, with a carefree abandon of stage presence, but have shown with their new release Please Don’t Be Evil to Me that they are just as strong recorded.
Buy Tickets for their Album Release Show Here.
The album is crispy and silky, deep and spikey. It is smooth like the reflection of metal and crunchy like crumbling concrete. Please Don’t Be Evil to Me is a recipe of post-punk and metal ideas all melted down into a new oozing, sentient being slipping and sliding along the tiles of basements to find something to sink its teeth into. The muck and cigarette butts it collects along the way only add to the exterior texture, adding fuzz and grit to the songs. The album is venomous rock in its fanged drums and dripping guitar tones. Overall, they play with ominous melodies and build up into claustrophobic moments to then release you into the slower quicksand below. It is this quality that I find most mesmerizing and brilliant about their debut album, Bitchflower shows a very early skill to pace themselves and draw listeners in.
Tracklist
Bury The Hatchet
Full Moon Fight Night ★
Catastrophizer
Sex Serpent
Big Man
Stopwatch
Please Don’t be Evil to Me ★
(★ favorite and must-listen songs ★)
“Bury The Hatchet”
Track one opens with a crispy bass sound, crackling at the edges, with the juxtaposition of how smooth Brooke’s vocals can be. The song is catchy and melodic, the descending chorus setting the mood and the head bangable staccato driving the opening track forward. The switch in choruses comes with a breakdown with a more distant feeling guitar and bass sound that plays with previous melodies introduced. I can envision the guitars and bass sitting adjacent like safeguards to a goth version of the Sphinx from Never Ending Story, sand vibrating around them.
The ending of the song finalizes it as a strong intro to the undeniable skill of these band members. There’s a strong Black Sabbath inspiration in the main riffs, deep in the chest and gravely like the first hit of a cigarette. The drums crawl alongside these moments in a serpentine manner, the guitars feedback the shining dripping fangs of warning. The introduction to Please Don’t Be Evil to Me feels like the strike of lightning and the crash of thunder.
“Full Moon Fight Night”
The vocals switch a bit as they open for track two, drawing in some Cranberries silkiness. The chorus twirls around like ribbons on a maypole, small witchy children dancing around their big witchy bonfires while singing along. The drums piqued my interest in this song, thin and floating high in your head while listening to it. There’s more metal influence leaking through in these slower parts, circling like buzzards. Still, early in the buildup of the album, Bitchflower already shows a skill for building tension and pacing. Each song is an exploration through various genres, moving from punk to emo to metal and garnishing it all with a psychedelic touch.
“Catastrophizer”
Catastrophizer contains more swirling, entrancing melodies that pull you in. The bass is rich and thick like melted chocolate, and the songs lean towards a thump-thud rhythm like a steady heartbeat. The vocals on “set your pants on fire” are taunting, and the vocals in the chorus are pleasant when placed right up next to them. The play on the already familiar wisp of “liar, liar” melded into the melody of the song is a clever play on a deeply familiar chorus. The patterns emerging between their songs, the playfulness in melody creation, and lyricism while maintaining an authentic angst make the album a truly wonderful creation. Each song seems to finish off in similar regards at this point in the album, the build-up created releasing into a smoke show of noise and emotion for the last minute of the song.
“Sex Serpent”
Just as I was getting a craving for something a little different, Bitchflower presents Sex Serpent with its distant desert rock-inspired guitar riffs. The combination of the simple drums and consistent bass in the background creates a thick sound even at the beginning of the song. The silkier, softer vocals make another appearance and I appreciate them just as much as the trademarked screams seen in other songs. The rattling and feedback are playful touches that add to the storyline of the album, creating shimmer and interest throughout the song. The next part of the melody, with its guitar highlight, is a refreshing change of pace from the mirage in the horizon quality the rest of the song takes on in moments. Overall, Sex Serpent feels like tripping on LSD in the middle of a desert. Staring up at the night sky and feeling so swept away in the inky blackness while feeling your heart race in your chest. This might be the song I anticipate seeing live the most, eager to see the guitarists play these parts and see the energy in person. The Cranberries’ inspiration lingers around the swelling vocals the most in this song and is a clever combination of the things soft and sharp about alternative music.
“Big Man”
Whereas I would catalog Bury the Hatchet as Bitchflower’s song (TM), Big Man is the song I would pull as the best representation of this album. It captures the two main elements I find repeating throughout Bitchflower’s sound: the teeth-gritting punk that leaves the members bouncing and flailing around the stage in a free for all of self-expression, and the swirling-down-the-drain metal elements that feel like the gasp of breath that accompanies such moments. They capture the rush of seeing a great band live, the buzz left in your ears and blood, but Bitchflower also manages to capture the after moments in their songs; full body exhales and solitary existentialism.
“Stopwatch”
Some more taunting rock inspiration rears its head in track six, the softer vocals taking on a foamier quality. The intro to Stopwatch feels like a snarling dog, mouth foaming up as the anthemic chants continue in the background. I found some of my favorite lyrics within this song, “maybe it’s all pretend” and “you like things that can’t be fixed.” I enjoy the bare vulnerability in these lyrics, especially when combined with the fuzzy guitar tones. Stopwatch sits like the sister to Catastrophizer, both showing a rumbling vulnerability that goes beyond the exploration of sound I expected to find in Please Don’t Be Evil to Me.
“Die for a Grapefruit”
If Stopwatch is the sister to Catastrophizer then Die for a Grapefruit is the sister to Sex Serpent. The sound of the second to last track is like tip-toeing in the dark, trying so hard to be quiet while the drums continue with the thumping heart of adrenaline. The patience for angst and Cranberries-esque sound make the melodies feel like 90s female alt with a modern twist. I really enjoyed the way the vocal melodies sit within the rhythm of the drums. The second time around the verse has added texture from drums and guitar making it more echo-y, like dripping water in a cave. This texture stretches out the song in a nice way, building up tension subtly and showing maturity and patience while songwriting. I can picture the perfect venue for this song specifically being a damp cave, the space and chill in the air allowing the song to expand outward.
“Please Don’t Be Evil to Me”
The final track of the album pumps up with a higher energy and leans into vampiric quality with its melodies. The distant crunch of the bass widens out the sound, feeling all-encompassing while the drums build up that high energy, amping it up and up. The chattering cymbals add a bright tang to the darkness of the song. It is a testament to the skill of Bitchflower to play with crisper, brighter soundscapes within the grunge of a song, like the gleam of tarnished steel or the flash of eyes in the dark of night. The consistent monotone of some of the vocals takes on a hypnotic sense, the guitar its twin holding hands as they circle around you. The melodies created within this song are my favorite by far, the way they build and drag like a cat’s tongue across the skin. It feels like tearing a pair of tights, the first run in fabric rapidly stretching outwards, you can try to catch yourself in the drums and bass but slip through like sand between fingers. I couldn’t have picked a better song to finish off the album.
If you like Scooby Doo Spooky Island, goth music, and crushed velvet you’ll like… “Please Don’t Be Evil to Me.”
If you like the Cranberries, bonfires, and a twangy guitar sound you’ll like… “Sex Serpent”.
If you like Sonic Youth, reckless abandon, and sea salt caramels you’ll like… “Full Moon Fight Night”.
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